


Results

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [21]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4067332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone receives their test results from the health fair. Dr. Matsuoka uses the opportunity to confront Sakaki about his relationship with Yuki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Results

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Monday, November 6, 2017**

The lab results were in, and all the follow-ups for the students and staff who had been tested were already scheduled. Most would be simple, just a brief explanation of how to read the reports and reassurances that everything was normal. Out of nearly fifty exams done in the week of the health fair, I'd be delivering bad news to only three participants, and two of those were staff. I didn't like that anyone was affected, of course, but I was happy that most of the students seemed to have luck on their side. It did help that most of them were only involved with girls and boys around their own age, many in their very first relationships.

Most of them.

For some reason, I'd been dwelling on the identity of Asahina's boyfriend. Maybe something about his worries had set off a warning, a reminder of the unfortunate events I'd encountered in the past. Asahina himself was happy, which eased my mind quite a bit, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off about the whole situation. And so I'd thought about it almost obsessively for nearly two weeks, assembling the bits of evidence I had. I'd soon realized that there were more clues than I'd originally thought, fed to me by rumors, Asahina's friends, and the boy himself.

Taking all of that into consideration, I'd come to a surprising conclusion: Asahina's lover was Professor Sakaki. There was an overwhelming amount of evidence, all little things that could be explained away individually, but taken together, it was hard to ignore.

Still, I doubted. It was all circumstantial, and there were legitimate reasons for their recent closeness. They worked together often, assisting Kasahara with his position. Their tutoring wasn't just a convenient excuse for secret meetings; I'd seen Asahina's grades posted after exams, and he had improved in all of his classes.

Asahina left the school island every weekend; plenty of students did, so it wasn't especially noteworthy. It was unusual for the professor to be doing the same, however. Until Sonoda arrived as a first year, the professor spent every weekend holed up in the director's office with Nao. After Sonoda entered school, the two of them would go try various restaurants, not just on weekends, but on weeknights as well. But I knew that Sonoda had been on his own for several months now, grumbling about his friends in Durak and their lack of taste. When I'd asked him about it, he just gave me an unreadable look and said his cousin was too busy.

And once I remembered that little exchange with Sonoda, words from other students had come to mind. I'd been so caught up in bantering with Yagami that I hadn't paid much attention to the specifics of what he said, including his mention of the rumor that the professor was romantically involved with someone. That realization brought Takato's parting message to mind, thanking me for including the teachers and staff in the event.

_Sometimes things happen._

Did some of Asahina's friends know? Were they trying to alert me in some way?

There'd been plenty of evidence from Asahina and the professor themselves, though I'm sure they didn't realize that they were dropping hints. Asahina's confession that his lover was male, older, and more experienced, and that he'd pushed him to get tested paired perfectly with the professor's admission that he was getting checked simply for his partner's peace of mind.

Maybe the strongest evidence had been from months earlier, just after the Bell One. I didn't remember too much of what had been discussed at the oden stall, or afterward, when Rajendra had escorted Asahina back to the dorm. But I clearly remembered Keita asking the professor what he thought of Asahina, and the surprising answer: _he might be special._

That was when things had begun, wasn't it? Almost immediately after the Bell One, that was when Asahina had started leaving the school on weekends. And that was when Professor Sakaki's personality had begun to shift, softening enough that rumors began flying. _Taken down a peg by losing to a couple of first year students. Humbled by the loss of his position on the board. Maybe he's started drinking between classes. I bet he's finally getting some._

Still, I might have overlooked it all if it hadn't been for Hiroya's throwaway comment, meant only to rile me up, not as anything serious.

_What if it's not another student?_

I closed my eyes, heart heavy. I had to say something. But first, I had to gather a bit more evidence from Asahina himself, inserting my questions into his follow-up exam.

Each interview was scheduled to last thirty minutes, more than enough time to review the results and handle any lingering questions. Most would last less than five minutes, based on past experience with similar events. There would be no long explanations, just relieved boys rushing back to class with bright smiles.

Asahina had the very first appointment of the day; it was only fair, considering that he had been the first to come for an exam. He arrived right on time, entering the office with a cheery greeting and a relaxed smile. He seemed much less nervous than he had the first time, as if he was already sure of his results.

"Good morning, Asahina. I won't be examining you today, but if you could take a seat up there anyway," I motioned toward the exam table, "that would be great. Of course I'll give you your results first, but I do want to discuss a few things with you as well."

He tilted his head to one side, questioning, but sat down without comment, patiently folding his hands in his lap. I took an envelope from the stack on my desk, confirming that his name was printed on it, and held it out with both hands. "These are your test results."

Asahina accepted it with steady hands, but his voice wavered a bit as he asked, "Can I look?"

"Of course, it's your personal information. I can explain how to read it, but if you don't mind the spoiler, you have nothing to worry about. Everything's normal."

He let out a long sigh, a smile lighting his face. "Ahh, I'm so relieved! I was sure everything was fine, but I still worried a bit." Asahina pulled the folded sheet from the envelope, eyes scanning over the printed words. Those eyes widened as they drifted down the page, taking in the full list of diseases that the lab had checked for. "Um, you did a lot of tests..."

"The information from your interview was used to choose the tests. Unprotected anal sex is one of the riskiest sexual behaviors, so I made sure the lab checked thoroughly. But like I said, there's nothing for you to worry about, Asahina. All the tests came back negative."

A blush colored his pale cheeks as he digested the information, then darkened suddenly. "U, um, so this means we can..." He fidgeted. "Er, do stuff again?"

I kept my tone neutral as I replied, "If your boyfriend has already gotten his results, and he's clean, then there's no risk of catching anything."

Asahina wiggled. "Well, not yet, but he should have them really soon."

 _This afternoon, you mean?_ But of course I didn't say anything.

"If you don't mind, Asahina, may I ask how things went for the two of you? If you've been abstaining since the time you were working on the health fair materials, I can imagine that your relationship may have changed a little. It's been several weeks since then."

That was all the prompting Asahina needed. A warm smile lit his face, expression growing distant as he recalled something. "Well, it was kind of awkward at first, but it's been a really good thing for us! Before, we'd just hang around on the weekends and... you know. So, for the past few weeks, we've been going out on the weekends instead, doing sightseeing stuff or going shopping or just walking around together."

That was good news. "So you two have stuck to your promise not to have sex until you both get your results? Neither one has been pressuring the other?"

Asahina ducked his head, cheeks reddening. "I, uh, got a little pushy about it the weekend after the health fair... I really wanted to sleep over, and... he made me go home."

"That's an impressive commitment to your promise." I was somewhat surprised, and some of that emotion leaked into my words. "I'm glad to hear it."

It seemed that the professor had been serious about keeping his word, going so far as to physically remove himself from temptation. Or rather, physically remove temptation from his presence. That realization loosened the pressure in my chest a little. That wasn't the act of a person with ill intent.

_Still, intent isn't the only issue here..._

"Yeah, it's just... I'm kind of embarrassed." Asahina was almost pouting, as if he'd picked up on my tone of voice. "I was the one who said we couldn't, and then I was the one who tried to break the rules."

"Don't beat yourself up, Asahina. You didn't have any experience with resisting that kind of temptation, so it's natural that you would want to give in. I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend respected your promise."

"Yeah, me too." He was smiling again, flipping between moods as his brain jumped from one memory to another. "We found other things to do, and somehow, I felt like we were more of a real couple. Even if it was just normal stuff like going out to buy ingredients, then coming back to cook dinner together, it felt..." He bit his lip, searching for the right word. "Comfortable, I guess? Just an ordinary thing, but it was so..."

"Intimate?" I offered.

"Yeah, that's it! Intimate. Every little thing was special just because we were doing it together. It was a different kind of closeness. And it was fun to go out together, too! Just yesterday, we went to the Nature and Science Museum, and we looked at all sorts of stuff." He scratched at his head with a sheepish smile. "There was even a lecture about the history of pi, except I thought it was pie the food and not pi the number... haha."

If I had any remaining doubt, that last part banished it. No high school student would take his date to a weekend math lecture. "The history of pi...?"

Maybe Asahina realized that he'd said too much, and he looked away, blushing. "Um, it's nothing, really! We just had fun over the weekend, that's all!" His hands tightened around the paper he still held, crinkling it slightly. The sound startled him, and he stared down at the wrinkled paper, lips curling into a shy smile. "W- well, we can do more stuff now..."

"After your boyfriend gets his results, right?" I reminded him.

"Right! So, um, can I go now?"

Poor boy, he didn't realize just how much information he'd just fed me, and to be honest, I didn't like fishing for it. It would be cruel to hold him any longer. "Of course, Asahina."

He was gone in an instant, and as the door shut behind him, I leaned my elbows on my desk and sighed. Such a trusting, naive boy. But he was also strong in his own way, more than making up for any lack of academic ability with his deep understanding of emotional situations. He was happy, and didn't seem to be hurt by his relationship. But...

I glanced toward my cell phone, seized by an urge to call Kazuki. He would understand. But he was away on a business trip to America again, probably busy until all hours of the night. Maybe the person I needed to speak to was closer than I thought.

 _Keita._ He'd blossomed in his relationship, filled with the same emotional strength that Asahina possessed, though it had been less obvious at first. Keita had started out timid and insecure, blessed with luck, and everything had turned out fine. Would someone like Asahina, bold and cheerful, and perhaps even more lucky, be the same?

I couldn't make assumptions. I'd have to confront the professor, and I knew it would be much more difficult than that awkward conversation I'd had with Kazuki years ago. I couldn't lean on Keita or Kazuki for advice; they were biased by the success of their own relationship.

I was on my own.

~~~

Professor Sakaki had the second appointment after lunch. As expected, he arrived on time and smelling faintly of cigarettes. He took a seat in the chair across from mine, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest. "Well, there's not much point in dragging this out. I know I'm fine." His gaze went to the folded paper in my hand.

I turned to set the paper on my desk. "Before that, I need to ask you something."

He probably couldn't tell that my heart was racing. If I made such a serious accusation, only to be wrong... But it was a risk I had to take. There was so much evidence, he would understand if it was somehow a mistake. Though I knew, on some level, that it wasn't.

My tone was calm and even as I spoke. "Professor Sakaki, give me one reason why I shouldn't report you for sleeping with Asahina."

The way he looked at me in that moment was all the confirmation I needed. Surprise for an instant, then clouded over by fear as he bowed his head, arms tightening over his chest. Only a few seconds passed before he forced himself to look up again, and if I had to put a name to his expression, I would have chosen the word _resigned._

"I love Asahina."

That was all he could manage before turning his face away, eyes slipping shut with an almost imperceptible sigh. Not annoyed, not exasperated, just tired. In a way, I was reminded of Kazuki's reaction seven years before, when I confronted him about his relationship with Keita. Of course, the details of the situation were different, but Sakaki's straightforward response and almost desperate worry were so similar.

Maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed.

"That's a very honest answer."

He eyed me warily, not sure what to make of my words. "Did you expect me to deny it?"

"I'd considered that possibility, yes. I don't have any concrete evidence, only a substantial pile of hints and clues. Once the pieces are assembled, the picture is quite clear, but without enough of them, it's hard to be sure. I think I've gathered up enough over the past couple of weeks to see it."

Professor Sakaki sat there without speaking, shoulders hunched a little, everything about his posture making it clear that he was incredibly uncomfortable. It was only natural, considering what was at stake: _everything,_ if I wanted to push things in that direction. As a doctor, I'd held lives and fates in my hands more than once, less often than colleagues who worked in medical offices and hospitals, but far more than any ordinary person might in a lifetime. But that had always been in the medical sense, with a physical problem that needed to be solved. This was something far more delicate, a life I could destroy with words rather than save with my hands.

"I'm glad you didn't deny it. It gives me hope."

"Hope?"

The professor looked like he was all out of hope, a convicted man waiting to be sentenced. Sometimes I forgot that he was so much younger than me. He wore his stern, stoic face well, serious and detached as he dealt with everything from classes to the board of directors. For a long time, I'd thought that there wasn't anything deeper, but after the Bell One, that mask had begun to slip. There was someone else there, hidden away and carefully guarded.

I knew Asahina was popular with his friends. He'd certainly touched Kasahara's heart in some way, inspiring him to take action and pushing him out of his depression. The other boys surrounding him had blossomed as well. I didn't know the details of their circumstances, but it didn't matter because the end result was clear. Change. And all of those close friends were attached to Asahina in some way, drawn in by his genuine affection and care for others. It wouldn't be surprising if some of those pure feelings had become a sort of love.

I felt like I'd found another piece of the puzzle, the missing _why._ But I wanted to hear it.

"Yes, hope that you'll continue being honest with me. Tell me, professor, how did this happen?"

No, I was losing him. His eyes narrowed just a little. "Why are you asking? You've already decided what to do about it. The how and why don't matter."

If they didn't matter, why did he look so pained? "I'm asking because I _haven't_ decided."

"You can't be serious."

"Talk to me, Professor Sakaki. Tell me what's going on between you and Asahina, or I will have no choice but to report my suspicions."

He hesitated, looking like he wanted to say something else, but swallowed back what were probably harsh words. I didn't like it, holding power over him like that, but I had to hear it. My conscience had to be at least somewhat clear.

_If I didn't care, I would have reported you without warning. Please, say something._

More silence, not a sullen and reluctant quiet, but a thoughtful one. If the professor knew just how expressive his face had become in recent months, he might have been embarrassed. "It was after the Bell One. Maybe it was sparked by Professor Ito's question, when he asked me what I thought of Asahina."

"I remember. Your response was quite unexpected."

His voice was quieter than usual, and less harsh. To my ear, he sounded a bit like Asahina did when he was trying to figure things out by giving voice to his thoughts. "To myself as well. After that, he started coming for tutoring, and... the way he talks about people, genuinely interested rather than gossiping, it's very refreshing. There were just so many little things. That someone like Asahina could manage to worry about someone like me, who would have allowed this school to close for no real reason..."

"From what I understand, your situation was complicated."

Sakaki snorted. "It wasn't complicated. It was _never_ complicated."

The unexpected change in his manner made me sit up straighter. "But..."

He shook his head. "I've always been a coward, it's as simple as that. I did what they told me, just enough to earn a bit of freedom to do what I wanted. Not just recently, but for as long as I can remember. I'm so put together on the outside, _such an adult_ as that brat Jokawa would put it, but on the inside, I've never been anything more than a lonely child hoping for affection."

I had no idea how to respond. Maybe he didn't want a response, because he continued without much of a pause.

"It took someone like Asahina to make me understand that my freedom was always right there, and all I had to do was take it. But first I had to see Kasahara do it. Kasahara, the boy I tried to push in that direction, but couldn't because I was a cowardly hypocrite. He was the inspiration, but Asahina was the catalyst. And once he realized that I was stuck, he pushed me too."

Sakaki let out a nervous, bitter laugh. "Isn't that pathetic? All this time, wasted, because I was living for my family, seeking their approval, protecting their interests. I was never going to be any more to them than a failure of a second son, fit only to be a puppet. Teaching isn't respectable. Refusing to marry harms the family image." He snorted. "Everything I do harms the family image. What kind of family is that?"

He sighed, looking more tired than ever. "Maybe I need a new family."

"Is Asahina your new family?" I asked gently.

Those words summoned a hint of pink to his cheeks, and he reached up self-consciously to rub under one eye. "I know it's wrong. I didn't intend for this to happen, any of it. If you'd told me six months ago that I'd be involved with a student, I would have laughed. Anyway," he met my eyes with his usual directness, "you seem awfully calm about this. Or is that just your personality? Nothing seems to ruffle your feathers."

It wasn't the first time I'd been accused of being unusually calm. "I have a lot of experience, that's all. And, to tell the truth, this isn't the first time I've seen something like this."

"I'd expect not, after working at a school for so long. We only see the big scandals in the papers, but I'm sure there are plenty of smaller issues that are handled quietly." The professor rubbed his arms, as if cold. "Just... whatever happens to me, don't drag Asahina into it. I don't want his name connected to anything that could harm his reputation."

"I see no reason to do anything at this time."

His eyebrows rose, lips parting slightly, though no sound came out.

"Your affection for Asahina seems genuine to me. And when I spoke to him during his exam, he was very positive and enthusiastic about his relationship. Though," I fixed the professor with a serious stare, "he was quite worried. Why on earth didn't you use protection, or at least discuss it with him?"

At that, Sakaki really did redden, turning his face away. "I know it was stupid," he muttered. "I'm usually very careful, but I knew I was clean, and that he was a virgin."

"But he didn't know that. You caused a lot of avoidable worry."

"We've already discussed it," Sakaki added in a tone that clearly implied _so leave it alone._ He must have noticed the change in my expression, the slight frown, because he quickly added, "It's been resolved properly."

"Yes, I heard that from Asahina as well. You've been respecting his decisions and wishes."

Sakaki eyed me, unable to completely hide the irritation in his glance or tone as he responded. "Treating my partner with respect isn't some sort of special exception. It's not something worthy of special notice or praise."

It was my turn to shake my head. "I'm sorry, I just spent an entire week coaxing information out of, and pushing information into, reluctant teenage boys. Sometimes being patronizing is the only way to make them listen." I felt a bit foolish for a moment; what was I doing apologizing to the teacher who was sleeping with a student? But as far as I could tell, Asahina was fine. Despite the information I'd pulled from the professor, Sakaki was the real mystery.

"It's fine. I've had to resort to such tactics myself." The professor fidgeted, a motion that was very unlike him. He must have felt like I was toying with him, bouncing back and forth between a discussion of his relationship with Asahina and idle observations. It wasn't fair, I realized, even though it was my preferred way of dealing with difficult conversations. I didn't know Sakaki very well, but I did know that he was direct, often blunt, and appreciated a similar level of honesty.

"I feel like this conversation is wandering. That's probably my fault, so I'll get it back on track." I adjusted my glasses and leaned forward. "Let me be direct with you, Professor Sakaki."

He met my eyes and gave a slight nod.

"I've seen enough in my time at this school that I avoid making blanket statements, and for the moment, I'm not convinced that you are causing harm to a student. You are, however, doing something illegal. If I don't report what's going on, I become your accomplice in illegal activity."

The professor lowered his eyes. "I understand."

"I'm not done yet. I told you before that I'd seen similar relationships, and while most of them have been harmful, I've also seen it work out." I chose my words carefully, not wanting to reveal more than necessary. "When I first started working at this school, there was a similar couple. The student was much like Asahina, with a kind and generous personality. The adult was someone I already knew, and when I confronted him, he was honest, like you. They were very much in love, and despite my advice, they stayed together, though I did keep an eye on the relationship."

Sakaki eyed me, his expression unreadable. "And what happened?"

"Those two are still together now, and very happy. They beat the odds, you might say. Other relationships I've seen since then have been obviously imbalanced, and the student was clearly being used. I don't get that impression here."

I paused, giving the professor a chance to speak, but he simply waited for me to continue.

"You're not helping yourself by staying silent, Professor Sakaki. I was able to watch over that other relationship without my conscience being strained too badly because I knew the adult quite well. To be blunt, you're a mystery to me. I don't know if I should consider risking my conscience or my professional name for you."

The professor pressed the fingertips of one hand to his forehead, as if pained. "I've held myself apart from others, so I'm not worthy of trust? I suppose that's fair. I wanted to be distant, after all."

"You were close to Nao," I reminded him.

"Nao's gone." His brows drew together. "And he didn't know half of the things that I told Asahina. I don't know how that boy pulled that buried story out of me."

"You let him get close to you." I leaned closer. "That doesn't have to stop with Asahina. In fact, I insist upon it. If I allow this to continue, I expect you to check in with me on a regular basis. I doubt that Asahina is the only one with worries."

"I don't understand you. You're offering a shoulder to lean on instead of turning me in?"

"I told you, I've seen a relationship like this before. But unlike that time, I don't know you well. I'm offering you a choice, professor: make yourself known to me, or I make your actions known to the appropriate authorities."

Sakaki looked like he wanted to continue protesting. I silently willed him to shut up; why was he questioning when all he could possibly do was change my mind, harming himself? After a few seconds, he nodded again. "That's more than fair."

"Yes, it is. I'm trusting my gut feeling on this, and I believe I will not be disappointed."

"Because of your friends, I know." The professor's stare was oddly intent. "You don't have to keep beating around the bush, Doctor, I know you're talking about Suzubishi and Ito."

Just hearing him say it was enough to make my heart skip a beat. Had I said too much? "I- I don't know what you're talking about."

Damnit, I never stuttered. It was almost the same as admitting to a lie.

Sakaki leaned back, folding his arms over his chest with a vaguely smug expression. "I can understand why they'd want to keep that a secret, not just because of the past implications, but because of the scandal it would cause now. Don't worry," he added, noting my slight frown, "I have no intention of telling anyone. I've known for years, after all."

There was no point in playing dumb. "How do you know that?"

A faint blush colored his face. "I overheard something not meant for my ears."

With a reaction like that, I wasn't even tempted to ask. "I see. Well, thank you for staying silent. It's a bit of a delicate situation for them."

"Yes, I can imagine."

Damn, was the professor trying to intimidate me, or was he genuinely relieved to know that a relationship like his own had been a success? If I had to guess, it was a little of both; Sakaki wasn't a fool, but he also wasn't as cold as he seemed at first glance. After all, Asahina liked him - no, was in love with him. Whatever he had seen of the professor, the personality he hid from others, must have been something special enough that he had judged him worthy.

"Anyway," I said, making no attempt to smoothly change the subject, "you and I will need to talk on a regular basis. And of course I intend to check in with Asahina from time to time as well. He can't know that I'm aware of your relationship. If I suspect that he's attempting to cover for you, that's the end of it. Understood?"

Sakaki gave me a look that said _do I really have a choice,_ but after a moment, that irritation faded from his expression. "Yes, very clearly." He looked like he wanted to say something else, and it took a few moments before he followed up with a quiet, "Thank you."

My heart was pounding as I turned to take the envelope with Sakaki's results from the stack on my desk. I held it for a few moments before turning back to him. "Promise me, Professor. If there's a problem, if you're worried, if anything troubles you, I want you to talk to me. Asahina has many friends who support him; from what I've seen, you do not. You may be older than Asahina, but that doesn't mean you're immune to relationship problems."

He tried not to stare at the envelope in my hands. "Yes. I know that all too well."

I wasn't sure if he was referring to his relationship with Asahina, or something earlier. I didn't ask, but waited for him to nod again.

"I'm serious about Asahina. I don't want to hurt him, especially not through careless actions or misunderstandings. If there's a problem, I'll rely on your advice."

"Even if that advice is to break it off?"

The professor didn't flinch or look away. "I would do anything for Asahina. Even that."

He wasn't lying. I don't know how I knew; I just sensed it. My tongue flicked out to moisten my suddenly dry lips. "Good." I held out the envelope, hands steadier than I expected. The professor seemed to understand the deeper meaning of that action, something that went far beyond the superficial handing over of medical results.

_I'm letting you continue this relationship._

It was a silent nod of tolerance, if not approval.

Sakaki's hands were trembling as he took the envelope from my fingers. He didn't open it.

"May I go, doctor?"

I studied him for a moment. _Don't betray my trust,_ I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue. After a moment, I nodded. "Yes. I'll call you later to set up our regular discussions."

The professor got up without saying anything, reaching out to push back the privacy curtain. He spoke only after he turned back toward me to close it, bending forward in a respectful bow.

"Thank you very much, Dr. Matsuoka."

~~~

I was barely breathing, focused on the sound of the wall clock as time ticked by. Class had ended a few minutes ago, and Asahina would appear at any moment. At first, it had been a relief to hole up in my office, calming my thoughts and willing my hands to stop shaking, but after half an hour, I regretted that my Monday afternoons were free. Oh, there was plenty of work to catch up on now that I was officially working as assistant director again, but my mind kept wandering back to the surreal conversation with Dr. Matsuoka. If I'd been in front of a class, I would have had no choice but to focus on teaching.

And now, with Asahina about to arrive, my anxiety was back in full force. Was any of this real? Or was I caught up in some elaborate delusion, imagining a world where an enigmatic doctor would offer support and counsel instead of forcing me out?

It couldn't be real. And yet, it was. Outside, the day continued normally, the weak sunlight of late autumn barely warming the courtyard. I went to the window and looked down at that scene, students and staff alike gathered in little clumps. It was easy to identify the members of Durak from a distance thanks to their distinctive black jackets, but which of the other uniformed dots out there was Asahina? Maybe he was already inside the staff building, taking the stairs two at a time, too impatient to wait for the elevator. That would be like him.

I turned back toward my desk, eyes falling on the sealed envelope. There was no need to open it; I knew what it would say. I'd let Asahina be the one to see the results.

 _Asahina._ I felt a sudden chill, not unpleasant, that left my skin tingling. _Please hurry._

As if summoned by my silent wish, there was a series of three knocks on the door, the last one so faint I could barely hear it. Asahina. "Come in," I somehow managed, my heart suddenly racing.

The heavy wooden door swung inward tentatively, revealing a wide slice of his face and body, and he peered in, making sure no one else was present. Once he was sure of it, a smile lit his face, and he bounced inside, almost slamming the door behind himself in his excitement. Asahina rushed toward me, glossy hair glittering in the afternoon sunlight, and I stepped forward to catch him in my arms.

"Sorry I'm late," he murmured, snuggling into my embrace.

"Late? Class ended less than ten minutes ago." I held him to me, resting my cheek on his hair. His body was almost hot inside the cold fabric of his uniform jacket, his incredible metabolism working overtime to protect him from the cool autumn air. Feathery hair tickled my nose, and with it, there was the faint sweetness of his cheap shampoo, and beneath that, Asahina's subtle personal scent. I breathed it in, shivering, not with cold.

_He's here. He's real._

As if to confirm it, Asahina's arms wrapped around me, warm hands pressing against the center of my back as he rested his head against my shoulder. "You feel a bit cold."

"It's because you're so warm." I rubbed my face against his hair.

We held each other without speaking for a while, my thoughts and heart racing. How could this gentle, genuine boy still be mine? How could someone with such a pure heart choose a person like me, burdened with so many unreasonable fears and worries? And that our relationship, one that would be condemned by every person who learned of it, had been discovered by the one rare person who would allow it to continue, seemed impossible.

 _Is this your luck, Asahina? Is that the reason we were found out by someone sympathetic?_ I squeezed his shoulders. _Could it be that the doctor knowing is somehow better than this remaining a complete secret?_

I didn't know. Only time would show me the answer to that question, and worrying about it wouldn't change the outcome. _It'll work out somehow,_ that's what Asahina always said when facing his own troubles. It wasn't a bad attitude to have, since it wasn't a statement of defeat uttered with resignation, but a cheery reminder to himself that he should remain positive. Adopting such a happy-go-lucky motto was completely against my nature, but in the current situation, I had no real choice. Be fearful and miserable, or hope for the best. Neither would affect the final result, but one would make the journey to that point more bearable.

"Um, Professor?" Asahina stirred in my arms, quieting again as he realized that I wasn't about to let him go. "Is everything okay? You usually don't hug me for so long..."

"Everything's fine, Asahina," I whispered, sliding one hand into his hair. "It's okay."

He was quiet for a few moments before offering, "Um, I got my results."

"Me too."

He squirmed a bit against me, and I reluctantly loosened my grip. Asahina moved back, still in my arms, just enough to look up at my face. His own face was clouded with worry, and the little frown on his lips made my heart ache. "You're acting kind of weird."

"I'm sorry, I just..." How to explain it without revealing too much? "I wanted to see you."

"Ehehe, you just saw me yesterday." His cheeks turned pink. "But, um, since I got my results, we can go back to doing... stuff." At that, he stiffened a bit. "What about you?"

I bent my neck, pressing my lips to the center of his forehead. The warmth of his skin lingered on my lips when I pulled away, and Asahina tilted his face up expectantly. His greedy expression broke the spell, and I let him go, bopping him on the nose with one finger. "You're impossible. We just saw each other yesterday, right?"

Asahina pouted. "But we didn't really kiss much."

"True." I motioned toward my desk. "My results are in that envelope, if you want to look."

I watched as he hurried over to the desk, eager to confirm what it said. He held up the sealed envelope with a surprised expression. "You didn't open it?"

"There's no need, I know what it says." I moved closer, standing beside him. "And I wanted you to be the first to see it."

He looked doubtful, as if wondering if it was really okay, but slipped his finger under the flap and broke the seal. The single sheet inside rustled as he unfolded it, and I watched Asahina's eyes scan over the page, the tentative smile on his lips growing brighter as he read. When he reached the bottom, he threw his arms around me, still holding the paper and envelope.

"I'm sorry I doubted you."

"It's fine, Asahina. You were right to doubt me, and to demand that I get checked." I folded my arms around his slim frame, nuzzling his hair. "I won't make you worry like that again."

"It's okay," he murmured, "everything is okay."

The mood was warm and comfortable, and I barely noticed the paper crinkling against my back as Asahina snuggled closer. We stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other, each confirming that the other was there. I could have fallen asleep like that if we hadn't been standing, lulled by the sense of relief and the scent of Asahina's hair.

And then his hands started drifting down my back. I pushed him away before they could reach their target. "Asahina. What did I tell you about messing around on school grounds?"

He pouted, eyeing me like I'd said something completely unfair. "But no one's here."

"Don't whine about rules that you agreed to." I plucked the papers from his hands, leaning close to breathe into his ear. "Save it for the weekend."

Asahina drew in a small, sharp breath, shivering. I kissed his ear and pulled away. He stared up at me, cheeks flushed and eyes half-closed. "R- really?"

"Yeah, really." I waved the results at him. "That's why we both did this, remember?"

He swallowed hard, and nodded. "It was totally worth it."

~ end ~


End file.
